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Should I repost my request as a new thread and keep the flowery language to a minimum? I assumed some superfluous conversation and some minor venting of my frustrations at the embargo of information would lighten the mood somewhat, but it seems that I might have shown my hand a little in doing so and revealed that I'm one of those casuals who doesn't live and breathe in assembly. Nonetheless, I wouldn't mind giving a go on my own if not for the fact that all the proprietary software would set me back more than what I saved on this laptop in the first place, coupled with the fact that I'd never touch the software ever again in the future. After failing to find other solutions, I accepted the ultimate defeat and made an account on some forum and put in my work ticket, only for them to close the service window on me. /storytime
tl;dr: it's been a week, I understand this isn't anyone's job, but I'd like to get some service around here because this is already 2 weeks longer without a computer than I was planning on.